Kindness and love manifest themselves to all of us, sometimes when we least expect them! When I think of the random acts of kindness and love that have come my way, what I get are slow moving shots in my mind of special moments shared with very special people who “helped me find my way.” Through the haze of memory, I see my father sitting atop the small retaining wall of our garden on a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon. We had spent the good part of that morning, talking and laughing about this and that. At 21, I had just returned from a six month jaunt through Europe after graduating from college. And, on this particular day I was to leave once again to venture out on my own, living with a friend in Berkeley and working in San Francisco. I remember feeling that uncontrollable need and desire to spread my wings, to be on my own, “finally!” And, all of this was very evidently against the old fashioned “stay at home until you get married” view of my immigrant parents.
As I nervously awaited my ride to leave, I glanced outside to see my father sitting there, smiling and making faces at me, as he had always done since I was old enough to remember. In slow motion I see him patting the space next to him, motioning me to come sit with him. In that one very simple gesture, I felt that unmistakable glow that accompanies unconditional love!
I knew that he did not agree with my life choices at this point, and yet, unlike my critical and distant mother, he put his feelings aside to make sure that I knew how much I was loved in spite of making decisions against their better judgment. Ironically enough, I do not remember what we talked about that day, but I can still feel, even now, thirty-three years after his death, the intensity of his love and his pride in me. That one simple, “random” gesture had given me strength, courage, and faith in myself. I have of course experienced other random acts of kindness from my father and others as well, yet nothing comes quite as close to how incredibly good that “pat” made me feel! ❤️
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