What do you do when. . .

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed with the challenging parts of life – when you simply can’t shake that deep and profound sadness that comes from the inevitable losses, the struggles inherent in letting go of that which we cannot control, the disappointments and unmet expectations – which we all experience – when there are just too many feelings, and that hopeful veil of resilience seems to waver under the weight of it all?

Most of all, you need to remember to breathe – deep, meditative, mindful breaths – the kind you hold in and slowly let out, easing the knot in your stomach and slowing the anxious beating of your heart.

Let the tears flow – do not even try to hold them in – not that it’s possible when one feels almost paralyzed at times with the struggle, when you attempt to sort it all out, to talk about it all, only to have the words preempted by the emotional tears that can and do flow much more easily and naturally.

Feel it, I’ve been told and read in many a Zen/Buddhist book – acknowledge it – accept it – then, let it go, says the Dalai Lama.

Make your bed each morning and then move – do not give into the frozen lethargy, which usually leads to the monkey in your brain taking flight from thought to thought and not resting, creating havoc to your spirit and unsettling your soul.

Walk – often – and far -preferably in San Francisco – paying attention to all the busyness of the City – toward the ocean – always toward the ocean by way of Grace Cathedral, where you walk the calming labyrinth – one way in and one way back out – with intention – and again, with each concern – each thought – acknowledge – accept – and with a slight swoosh of the hand – let it go – all the while breathing deeply. A walk around this amazing cathedral with a final sit down to rest does calm the soul and slow the heartbeat, as does lighting a candle in honor of those of whom we think.

Labyrinths are such amazing vessels of healing – of being present – of accepting where we are with all the twists and turns, but always leading to the center and back out again, trusting in some type of resolution and then the resulting growth and strength.

Listen to the music that really stirs your heart and soul – and listen intently to the words and the accompanying sentiments originating from the inner struggles and challenges experienced by yet another fellow traveler in this life.

Read what inspires you – maybe start with the sincere eloquence of Marianne Williamson in a Return to Love, to the whimsical yet profound teachings of the Dalai Lama ‘s Cat books – and the spiritual and uplifting interpretation of the Tao by Wayne Dwyer and anything written by Annie Lamott – but always be on the look out for any type of inspiration – it’s all around – from a message written on the ground – on a wall – in a novel, a magazine – on a tree – billboard – the smile of a passerby – pay close attention.

Pour it all on paper – the thoughts – no matter how painful they are because in the midst of that which makes us sad can be hidden gems of happiness – and it’s damn cathartic!!!

Seek out the people – the special people in your life who care about you – not to unload on them because no one really understands the path on which you walk, and it is not fair to anyone to have the expectation that they will make it all go away  – but just to be in their loving presence – to be loved anyway.

Be kind to yourself and know that you have been here before and somehow made it through – acknowledge and reaffirm that in life there has to be the yin with the yang – the good with the bad – the unpleasant,  with of course, the beauty of it all.

Submerge yourself in what feels good physically – a long hot soak in a tub surrounded by uplifting music – a deep tissue massage – a nap with a purring cat – a glass of wine in one hand and your face in the sun, soaking in the warmth – being present and near any body of water when the sun sets – an ocean breeze – and this list is endless.

It’s all just life.